A few things...

1. Don't forget about The Preemie Project fundraiser at Glassando this Sunday, December 9. 20% of in-store and online purchases will be donated to The Preemie Project. It's a great cause and a great selection of jewelry in all price ranges. Please show your support on Sunday!!!

2. I thought I'd give an update on the problems we've been having conceiving since I received so much support (thank you to all my friends!). The medication unfortunately hasn't worked. I could move on to giving myself (or more appropriately, my husband giving me) shots in the stomach or butt for 10 days and go under a lot of medical monitoring. However, we have decided that is not the right path for us for a number of reasons. If anyone wonders, I'd be happy to tell you those reasons.

Yes, we are upset about the news, but coping as well as can be expected. We're looking at this as a new beginning for us. We hope to adopt in a year or two. I already called an adoption agency today to start researching. The woman I talked to was absolutely wonderful and made me know in my heart this is the right move to start our family. It's an overwhelming process, so we'll start slow. First things first we'll decide on domestic vs international then go from there. With a happy ending in sight, we are very excited to start our journey and share it with our family and friends.

Knit Picks order is in

I got my order from Knit Picks yesterday. LOVE it. The Shadow yarn didn't come in a center pull ball, so I had to wind that while watching A Beautiful Mind last night. Winding center pull balls is the worst. All yarn companies should do that for you. I cast on for the feather and fan scarft already. Today has been a good day to work on it with the ice and snow keeping us indoors.

Happy Thanksgiving!

We're taking off soon for my aunt's house, but I have some time to kill so figured I can post. We woke up to our first snow of the season. It's just barely enough to cover the ground, but snow is snow. Winter is here! I love winter. There's nothing better than wearing a warm sweater and curling up with a hot chocolate.

Last night I ordered a few things from Knitpicks. It's the first time I've ordered from them, but I've heard good things. I'll be making the Lace 1,2,3: shadow scarf for myself in Sunset Heather. I'll also finally start Cozy from Knitty for myself in Forest Heather. I'm so excited for both of them to come! I've wanted to make both patterns for so long. I'm especially excited to start Cozy. It'll be great for work on those days we don't have heat. Yes, there are days the heat is off in our building!!! Not cool on 30 degree, cold, windy days.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL!!!

Commitment Problems

I've been knitting, but it feels like I'm getting a whole lot of nothing accomplished. In the past two weeks I've only really finished a dishcloth. I've worked on the cat blanket, but it's just boring stockinette and I wonder if I'll ever finish. I've started and stopped various preemie hats and a snowflake pattern that I can't figure out for the life of me. Instead of knitting, I've been browsing online yarn stores. There's so much I want but can't decide what to buy. There are so many patterns I want to try, but don't know when to start. I hope this commitment problem ends soon.

On a serious note

Some of you reading this know me in real life, some don't. What probably 99% of you don't know is that I'm dealing with infertility right now due to Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). As of today, right now, I'm done hiding it, keeping it inside, and being embarrassed and ashamed. Maybe I'll regret posting this tomorrow, but I doubt it. Talking gets me through my problems.

It all started in September 2006. I had to stop taking birth control pills because of serious and out of control migraines. The migraines actually stopped, which has been absolutely wonderful. But other things didn't get back to normal. After a few doctor visits, I found out I have PCOS. It's the leading cause of infertility in women. 1 in 10 have it, many don't know. Doctors aren't sure what causes it. My ovaries were covered with cysts on the ultrasound. My bloodwork came back all out of whack. I found out it could be very difficult to get pregnant and if I did, miscarriage was a high risk. I'm now at increased/high risk for diabetes and heart disease (which I'm already highly at risk at due to family history). We always planned on having children, but now the plan got moved up a few years. If it'd be difficult at 24, imagine how difficult it'd be even 3-4 years from now.

So in April I started taking fertility medications. Some say the medication could "make a rock pregnant." Well, not me. It couldn't even make me ovulate, which is essential in getting pregnant. The doctors started discussing injectibles. I had a panic attack in the office watching a video on how to give them to yourself. Right now we're on our last round of medication before we stop. Injectibles are not in my future, neither is IVF; I've had a gut feeling for a long time that nothing will work. If this doesn't work, we're done. It hasn't been an easy decision, probably the hardest in either of our lives. But that's where we stand today.

What lies ahead for us? Well, learning to accept our decision is definitely one thing. Logically we're both ok with it. Most days I'm fine. Some days, though, it's impossible to not cry. When I got the news that it didn't work last month I let myself cry for two days then told myself that was it. I won't deny my emotions, but I can't let them take over my life either. We will make great parents and there are other ways to become parents. That means adoption. Maybe it was a sign, but DH starts a new job on Monday. One of their benefits: adoption assistance after 1 year of employment. Unless a miracle happens between now and then, we will be taking advantage of it to the fullest. Looking to the future makes us both very excited. A light at the end of the tunnel makes this so much easier to deal with.

I've learned so many things through this. 1) My family is the most important thing in the world. Without my husband, parents, sister, grandmother, and aunts I wouldn't have made it through this relatively unscathed. I should mention friends here as well. Even if they don't know what to say at times, just listening helps so much. 2) Even though I feel so alone in this sometimes, there are thousands of women feeling the same thing I am right now. This doesn't have to be taboo. Granted, it won't be brought up in all casual conversations, but it's ok to say it outloud to someone. 3) This may be most important-I AM STRONG AND WILL MAKE IT THROUGH THIS. Infertility will not define me as a person. Period.

Winnie the Pooh blanket

Here's my second sewing project ever (with my mom's help). It's a Pooh blanket to go along with the hats and booties for Benjamin. It's absolutely adorable, so I really hope they like it. It's not perfectly square and the lines weren't sewn that straight, but I'm still learning.











This picture of Poppy was taken sometime this weekend. We're thinking of submitting it to lolcats. The caption is still up in the air. This has got to be one of her best pictures yet.

Calorimetry, Glassando, and eating

There was leftover Cascade 220 from Wavy and my sister wanted a hat to go with it. I didn't have enough for a hat, but there was enough for calorimetry. I read in some reviews on Ravelry that 120 stitches was way too much so I cast on with 100 and used size 6 needles. I'll put on a button this weekend once my sister has tried it on.









Mark your calendars for December 9. Details are still in the making, but Abby from Glassando has graciously offered a great fundraising opportunity for the Preemie Project. 20% of the day's sales will be donated for the Craft-a-Thon in February. Her jewelry is AMAZING and perfect for yourself or for gifts. Seriously, I'd buy her out of stock if I could. I highly recommend the amber jewelry...you could say I have a slight obsession with it.




And now to food. Who doesn't love to talk about food? I love to cook and make up recipes as I go. This creation was just so pretty and tasty that I had to take a picture of it. It's New York strip steak, ravioletti, and a homemade tomato cream sauce.

Wavy is done and I'm on Ravelry!

Wavy is done and looks awesome. The original pattern calls for a total of 10 repeats, but I only did 8. It's plenty long for my sister, though, who is a shorty like me. I love how it turned out, but I'm glad it's done.














I got my invitation to Ravelry. Yeah! I'm loving it so far.

A gift for Benjamin

Last week DH's cousin and wife had their baby 12 weeks early. I saw some pictures and the poor little guy only had a diaper on, so I sprang to action. So far I have 3 sets done and will probably make a few more. I don't have a sewing machine (and barely know how to sew) so next weekend when I go to my parents' house I'll ask my mom to help me make a little blanket to with everything.

The quest for a first sweater

I really really want to make a sweater. I've been knitting for a year and a half now and haven't done anything more complicated than a baby hat, baby blanket, scarf, or rectangular shrug. It's time to move up to knitting in the round.

In no particular order:
1. Cherie Amour from Knitty. It looks great on the model. I love doing lace. But is it me? Or would it even look good on me? I'm on the fence.
2. Mr. Greenjeans also from Knitty. I think it's more my style. I would make full length sleeves and maybe add a little length to the body.
3. this one from Craftster I asked if there will be a tutorial. It's just a great piece of work.
4. beginner's raglan from Craftster. Should be simple enough.

Decisions, decisions.

the knitting cabinet is done!

Yesterday my father-in-law and I built this. It's a pre-made shoe cubby that we added doors, a back, and legs to. It still needs painting, but here it is! I did the most of the drilling and sanding. He offered to let me use the table saw, but once he turned it on and I saw how fast the blade goes, I decided I'd rather keep my fingers.

Aww, so cute

I tried a new yarn this week. Caron Simply Soft Baby in soft yellow. It's really soft and knits up into a cute little hat. The pattern is based on lacy only I cast on 60 stitches and used a size 5 needle. I need to start working on taking cuter pictures, but it's night and the lighting in the basement isn't the best.

I loved the pattern so much I made a hat

This hat is based on the same stitch I used for my mom's scarf. It turned into a cute little hat. I wanted to do a right twist and left twist, but couldn't find instructions for a left twist online. If anyone knows how, I'd love to learn.









And since this blog is supposed to include things other than knitting, I'll talk about my cats (because every knitting blog must mention cats). Mine are hyper little turds today.. When I was putting on my socks this morning I felt them under the bed. I looked under and saw they had managed to rip off the bottom of the box spring and were laying in it like a hammock. Looks like we'll be getting a staple gun this weekend. Here's Buddy and Poppy.

What? Can you repeat that?

If you've been around me the last three days, you probably heard me say, "What?" or "Can you repeat that?" about a thousand times. I have a nasty ear infection...so bad that my ear canal is literally swollen shut and my neck and cheek are also swollen. Needless to say, I'm in a lot of pain and medication. Since I would have been worthless at work today (for not being able to hear and and for the fact I'm taking a lot of codeine) I stayed home and got a little knitting done. It's nothing exciting, but it was quick and easy. Thinking would have been too much for this weekend.

Wavy, brought to you by Knitty

Now that I've finished my mom's scarf, it's onto my sister's. She chose Wavy from the Knitty archives. I've heard great things about Cascade 220, so I'm not making any yarn substitutions. My only complaint is they don't have it wound in a ball already. Since I've never done my own center pull ball, this was quite the 3 hour adventure with about 100000000 knots. I'm telling myself the next one will go better. Other than that, I love the yarn and I love the pattern, regardless of the 44 row repeat.

Hey, check that out

Look, I made it look cool!

Day 1 of blogging

I was convinced to give this a shot by a few members of the Preemie Project. I consider myself pretty good at this kind of thing, but for some reason I'm slow moving on this tonight. Perfectionism is rearing it's ugly head...or maybe it's that it's just time for bed.

I finished my mom's scarf tonight. Unfortunately the pictures don't do it justice, but it's hard capturing the brown yarn. The pattern is based on this mock cable scarf. It took about 1.5 skeins of Lion Brand Chunky Superwash Wool.
I didn't make a hole in it and made it 50 inches long, as Mom requested. The pattern was really easy to remember and not complicated at all. I'm very pleased with the results. I hope Mom is, too!